Reflections on 15 years of wandering, growing, and finding my place
[Monday May 26, 2025]
#3
Opening my email and finding an offer from the Yeongju Office of Education to teach English at Buseok Elementary School was an odd experience. I read every line, every word, every clause. It seemed too good to be true.
If I accepted this job I would receive health insurance, vacation days, and an apartment compliments of my employer. I would receive a stipend to get settled as I transitioned to a new life in a new country. I would have holidays off. I would work a nine to five schedule, Monday to Friday, and if I became sick, I would receive an allotment of hours that I could use to stay home and rest and not miss a paycheck. The South Korean Department of Education would even set up a pension account on my behalf.
None of the above had I ever received. Nothing promised in this job contract had ever been offered to me before. My adult life to that point consisted of hourly jobs operating on a retail schedule; jobs that required I work holidays and late nights; jobs where I was made to feel that I needed someone else’s permission to take a break.
As I reflect back on that chapter of my life, I understand that I had cultivated a very particular view of myself and the natural order of life. I was existing in a self-perpetuating cycle of beliefs, reinforced daily by my environment. I was raised -- and still living -- in a culture that taught me that human beings are worthy of nothing more in life than to eat shit and die. Full stop.
In that culture I was taught that if you were lucky enough to receive anything good – good, again, that you are not worthy of – the only appropriate response is that you grovel and lavish praise upon whoever is gracious enough to take pity on you. Whether it be an employer, a police officer, a parent, or an invisible being in the sky, you are subject to someone else, because, you know, eat shit and die.
Jake in 2010 did not believe he was allowed to even consider making a change in his life. He did not believe happiness was available to him. He believed that his life was obligated to other people, other ideals, other “truths” he had been taught.
* * * *
And so in September of 2010, as life became more and more bleak, I did the only sensible thing a desperate person can do…
I ran.
I bought a plane ticket, I threw all of my stuff in the dumpster at my apartment complex, and I got the hell out of there.
I had no idea what I would find on the other side of that airplane ride across the Pacific, but I knew it promised something different.
What did I find on the other side of the globe? I’ll tell you more about that next week…
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Reflections on 15 years of wandering, growing, and finding my place
[Monday May 19, 2025]
#2
In the twelve months leading to my departure from “home”, I finalized a miserable divorce from a miserable marriage to a person who made me miserable. I completed the long process of selling a house. It was exhausting, and it gained me nothing. And to add insult to injury, I had my ambition squashed by a company that strung me along but finally had no desire to move forward.
An interesting part of growing forward (not old, but forward) is that we acquire the ability to look back. Our human capacity to reflect is a blessing, but it’s also a curse.
Some things we want to remember.
Some things we don’t.
My life in early 2010 is one of those things I don’t want to remember. It was stagnant, empty, and hopeless. In hindsight I can see that my life was exactly what results from years spent following a very common playbook:
I got a degree.
I got a job.
I got married.
I bought a house.
I went to church on Sundays.
I visited my parents each week.
In a nutshell, I did what was expected.
On paper, I was a good adult. But this life, I would finally understand, was not serving me. It brought me nothing even close to happiness. There was no discernible benefit other than maintaining a relationship where my parents were satisfied.
I would often find myself in a parking lot, sitting on the back of my truck and staring into the abyss of the future.
Was this all there is?
* * * *
Fast forward a few months…
After a quick google search, I found a job board for schools in South Korea looking to hire English teachers. I didn’t know how to teach English, but I reasoned that it couldn’t be that hard. I had spoken English for nearly 30 years. Surely that would count for something.
And so on a Monday I fired off about 20 resumes. On Tuesday I had several responses. On Wednesday I had an interview on Skype. And on Thursday I had an offer letter and contract waiting in my inbox.
Was the universe trying to tell me something? Had it been waiting all this time for me to choose more for myself, to choose a path that resonated deep down in my soul?
It was looking that way. I liked the sound of that, but I was not accustomed to it. And so, I didn't believe it.
At least not yet…
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Reflections on 15 years of wandering, growing, and finding my place
[Monday May 12, 2025]
#1
A few things I could not do when I arrived in the little town of Yeongju, South Korea in the fall of 2010:
- Read, write, speak, or even remotely understand the language. My brain was quite confused.
- Sleep. The time zone in South Korea is the opposite of the US. 1:00pm here was 1:00am there. Those first few weeks of adjusting were exhausting.
- Make friends. Yeongju was a small town, not a tourist destination. There were a handful of other teachers who, like myself, had made their way across the globe to teach English in the other schools around town. But where do I find them? Not a clue.
That transition to Asia was disorienting and hard. For the entire first week, I ate dinner at a little Dunkin Donuts in the middle of town. It was odd to find a small bit of familiarity in my new countryside home, but it was quite welcome. For those first few weeks, it was the only thing I understood.
Worst of all, I was lonely.
South Korea is roughly 7,200 miles from the east coast of the United States. It was a different continent. There was an ocean in between. This place was literally a world away from anything, or anyone, I had ever known.
South Korea will forever hold a special place in my heart. In hindsight, I know that my first year away from home was nothing short of magical. However, I’ll confess that I often considered quitting my job at Buseok Elementary School and going back home, especially during the first several months.
But these thoughts were always accompanied by a follow up question…
Go home to what?
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Ideas I’ve learned from taking really long walks
[Sunday May 4, 2025]
(1/10)
I don’t stretch before I walk.
Not anymore. I used to.
Now, I just start.
I took a trip to Vancouver, BC a few weeks ago. Over 2 full days I walked 39 miles. Here’s what I did on the first morning:
1) I got up.
2) I put my clothes on.
3) I walked out the door of my hotel.
21.73 miles later, I had completed a loop through the city, around Stanley Park, out to Spanish Banks Beach, and back.
It felt good. I remember several years ago when I started taking long walks. I couldn’t go more than a mile or two without stopping.
Not anymore.
Now, I have to remind myself to take breaks. I’ll usually walk 10-15 miles before I stop to drink some water or eat the clif bar in my pocket.
What I’m learning is that motion is lotion.
The more I do something, the easier it is to keep doing it.
Momentum is difficult to build, but once you have it, there’s nothing you can’t do.
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Wednesday // APR 2 // 2025
[019]
Thinking about Ireland today.
Itching for another long walk.
Vancouver soon.
==========
Tuesday // APR 1 // 2025
[018]
Late night
Cozy light
Off to sleep I (hopefully) go
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Saturday // FEB 3 // 2024
[017]
Quiet, cold, blue.
Light is doing it's best.
Back inside I go.
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Sunday // JAN 14 // 2023
[016]
Breakfast of champions.
It's what airports are for.
Peace out Orlando.
==========
Thursday // JAN 4 // 2024
[015]
Longest walk begins today.
St. Pete to Clearwater.
Happy(ness).
==========
Wednesday // JAN 3 // 2024
[014]
Training, done.
Anxiety levels, full.
Let's get this show on the road.
==========
Tuesday // JAN 2 // 2024
[013]
Bluest of skies.
Prettiest of mountains.
Colorado really is a beautiful place.
===========
Monday // JAN 1 // 2024
[012]
Beautiful morning.
Another year begins.
Time to walk.
==========
Monday // OCT 30 // 2023
[011]
Barcelona.
First time.
In search of wine.
==========
Saturday // OCT 28 // 2023
[010]
Seen on my walk.
Outside Phoenix Park, Dublin.
Bitch please.
==========
Friday // OCT 27 // 2023
[009]
Back in Dublin.
Street walking; in search of food.
Is it ever not wet here?
==========
Thursday // OCT 26 // 2023
[008]
Have a drink.
Take a trip.
Airports are the best.
==========
Wednesday // OCT 25 // 2023
[007]
Time for another adventure.
Bag packed.
Plane to catch.
=========
Tuesday // OCT 24 // 2023
[006]
Procrastinating and I don't know why.
I have things to do.
Staring at a blank wall instead.
==========
Monday // OCT 23 // 2023
[005]
Another day, another shift.
Red Rocks.
There are worse jobs.
==========
Sunday // OCT 22 // 2023
[004]
Work, work, work.
I suppose I need to do it.
From time to time.
==========
Saturday // OCT 21 // 2023
[003]
Fall in Colorado.
Happy to be home.
If only for a few days.
==========
Friday // OCT 20 // 2023
[002]
Moonscape from above.
Somewhere over Arizona.
My happy place.
==========
Tuesday // OCT 17 // 2023
[001]
'Twas a long but beautiful day.
Twenty-two miles.
Legs ache.